Today is thanksgiving here in the states. I thought that instead of giving a generic list of the things I'm thankful for, I'd get a little personal today. It's something that I don't do often and then to put it out there on the world wide web is a little scary, but I'm in good spirits right now.
The past few years have been a pretty big emotional roller coaster for me. In general, life is a constant up and down, but since about 2010 it's been really testing me. Relationships and friendships have come and gone. Hearts have been broken, mistakes have been made, I have fallen and also picked myself up again. This past year symbolizes so much for me. I've found something that I've been looking for for a while...peace. Well, at least a small bit of it. To say that I'm living this perfect life would be one of the largest lies I could tell. I'm still falling and picking myself back up, but for the first time in a long while I'm doing more and more on my terms. I've gained control of my life. Something I apparently didn't have. Like I said, things aren't perfect, but I feel like I'm on the road to recovering who I am, what I want, what I need and my passion for life, whereas before I felt like I was slowly dying on the inside. No one's life is perfect. No matter how great it may seem from the other side, we all have struggles and demons to battle. My version of rock bottom will not be the same as yours.
If you would've asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, my answer wouldn't be what my reality is. I have not ended up where I thought I would at all, but I'm okay with that. After trying to push my ambition to the max and failing, I realized that I am right where I need to be in this moment. I'm so thankful for everyone who has stood by my side. I'm thankful for the new people who have come into my life and the one's that are no longer involved in my life. I'm thankful for all of the experiences I've had, good and bad. I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned from my mistakes. I'm thankful for the roof over my head, the food in my fridge and the breath in my body. I'm thankful.
Keep your eyes peeled for another possibly cryptic heart to heart for new year's resolutions.